I tried
to be accommodating,
understand the circumstance,
yet instead
provide a solace that might
help you to recognize
not an ill bone in my body
when knowing you,
when holding your love in my mind.
I cried
as anyone naturally might,
when everything I breathed and imagined,
felt the old oak of a slamming door,
the one that spoke of
outrage,
the words suggesting
profanity,
a fear of unkind words.
I wanted
to recall the truth,
the hundreds of drafts
I put aside,
they were never me,
and yet,
I couldn’t help beat myself up,
for projecting
such a cold soul,
a disconnect heart,
whom could I possibly be
otherwise.
I wanted to tell you how I felt,
yet feared my losing you – ironic
Personal Testimony 