I feel a decision being made

I’m still in love, perhaps it is meant to be, without finding ourselves together. There is something about separation and the value of two lives, two passions, two mistakes, two decisions to be allowed to realize what we were, what we are today.

I spent the night pining, trying to figure out a way to interact. I wanted only a word, just a word, nothing more, and that would be an assurance, an indication we might still exist in each other’s mind.

Tonight I’m in the twilight. All I do is imagine what it might be like to know each other as the companions we once thought we were. I have crossed a line, and I no longer wish to step back to that grass in my yard that is brown with a fury of decay. I want the lush sensuality of a beautiful rising desire, a sweet reckoning.

That may not make sense, but right now in my mind, love makes very little sense, yet I’m willing to fight for anything that means I can express love, and she might trust me.

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